No, Mr Policeman, WE Weren’t Climbing On The Roof

An ape on the roofI was in the Alford Road Park car park in West Bridgford last night doing a bay park with a pupil. It was empty when we arrived, but after about ten minutes some kids arrived with a football. I won’t dwell on the fact that there are signs posted on the wall of the changing rooms building which clearly say “No ball games in the car park”. Inevitably, the ball ended up being kicked on to the roof so it rolled back down a few times.

After a few more minutes, someone appeared on the roof of the building. He was wearing a black jacket but with a grey hoodie underneath.

He jumped up and down a few times, moved up and down, threw a small branch he found on the roof into the car park, then disappeared back over the other side. A few minutes later he ran back up, jumped around some more, flailing his arms, then disappeared again. He was obviously showing off to someone on the other side.

After some more minutes, during which time I had called 199 to report the incident, a group of kids came from behind the building – two females, and two males, one of the males wearing a black jacket and grey hoodie. They obviously knew the two with the ball, and the kid with the hoodie seemed to be on something (or suffering from something), since he couldn’t stand still and quickly got into a rough-and-tumble with one of the others the group joined.

Just as we left, the police turned up. Ten minutes later, they gave me a courtesy call to tell me what had happened.

Summary: “No, Mr Policeman, WE haven’t been climbing on the roof.”

Yes you were, you lying little pricks. The dashcam never lies.

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