Diary Of An ADI

A Driving Instructor's Blog

Friday (yesterday) was the annual Children In Need Appeal Day run by the BBC.

One of my pupils today raised some money by having that part of his body normally hidden in his trousers waxed! But he hadn’t gone as far as his friend, who’d had a full body wax (including his nether regions). Apparently, my pupil paid £25 for his friend’s eyebrows to be waxed, too.

In case anyone hasn’t clicked, we’re talking hair removal here.

I told him the story of a girl I once knew. She had plucked her eyebrows completely out when she was younger (don’t ask me why: it was something I had never understood even when she told me). But they’d never grown back and she now had to paint them on (I think girls would probably call it something else, but ‘painting them on’ just about covers it).

He can’t wait to tell his friend.


OK, I think I got this gallery thing figured out – here are some photos I took at the Queen + Paul Rodgers gig a few weeks ago.     

Click the thumbnails to see a medium-sized image, then click that image to see the full size photo (the full-sized images are reduced to 800×600 from the original 2592×1944).


Heard on the radio that the M1 has been closed today (12th November, 2008) with major diversions since around 8.30 this morning in Leicestershire due to an accident. In addition, there has been another serious accident in the queue of traffic caught up in the jams resulting from the first. Police are having to carry out ‘accident investigation work’, which means the road will be affected for a while to come.

And to top that off, there’s now another accident on the southbound M1 in Nottinghamshire.

Up until now I was wondering about accidents (and breakdowns). You can set your watch by them: you get one accident and one breakdown every day on an important road into and out of the city. In the morning, it will always be on the busiest carriageway. In the evening it’ll be the other one, which is now busiest. If there are roadworks, the breakdown or accident is bound to be right in the middle where there’s no hard shoulder.

I could understand it if there were lots of accidents or breakdowns all day. Or if they occurred everywhere. And the frequency of daily accidents suggests that there should be a lot throughout the day. But there are aren’t. Accidents (and breakdowns) are carefully designed to cause maximum disruption at the most incovenient times, and in the most inconvenient places.

I blame it on a Government Conspiracy!

Edit: After a post made on 12 December 2008 I checked back and, believe it or not, today (the day this original post was published) was as near-as-dammit a full moon! I’m getting more convinced that lower primates are affected by the phases of the moon and – when they also carry a driving licence – mayhem can ensue.


Driving back from a lesson I noticed a hot-air balloon flying quite low over the city. It was swinging back and forth quite significantly like a pendulum.

Seeing how windy it is today I don’t envy those onboard when they come to land!

You know, I’ve never wanted to go up in one of those things. The idea of landing – even on a warm, still day – doesn’t exactly appeal to me. From what I understand, landing is pretty much hit and miss at the best of times. With weather like today’s I can fairly say that going up in one is well down my list of priorities.


In a previous post about the downside to this job I mentioned a pupil who had an unexplained strop on her lesson last week.

Well, her next lesson was on 9th (Sunday). On 3rd Nov I texted her and asked if she was all right (her lesson on 2nd Nov was where she’d had the strop). No reply . I texted again on 6th Nov and asked if we were still on for Sunday. No reply . I texted again on 8th Nov and asked if were still on for the following day. I get the reply: ‘ I think so ‘.

Bearing in mind her lesson is at 8pm on the Sunday, I get a text message at 4pm Sunday afternoon saying: ‘ I can’t make my driving lesson later. Sorry ‘.

I decided to have a look back over her record for the last few months. Here’s what it looks like:

  • Sun, 9/11 – 8pm lesson ( cancelled at 4pm)
  • Sun, 2/11 – 8pm lesson (has a strop near the end)
  • Sun, 26/10 – 8pm lesson ( cancelled with under 10 hours notice due to hangover)
  • Sun 19/10 – 8pm lesson OK
  • Sun 12/10 – 8pm lesson OK
  • Sun 5/10 – 8pm lesson ( cancelled with under 3 hours notice due to hangover, I think)
  • Sun 28/9 – 8pm lesson OK
  • Sun 21/9 – 8pm lesson OK
  • Sun 14/9 – 8pm lesson ( cancelled same day – no reason)
  • Sun 7/9 – 8pm lesson OK
  • Fri 29/8 – 12pm lesson OK
  • Sun 24/8 – 8pm lesson ( cancelled same day – no reason)
  • Sun 17/8 – 8pm lesson OK
  • Sun 20/7 – 8pm lesson ( cancelled with under 6 hours notice – no reason)
  • Sun 13/7 – 8pm lesson OK
  • Sun 6/7 – 8pm lesson OK
  • Tue 24/6 – 8pm lesson OK
  • Thu 19/6 – 8pm lesson OK
  • Sun 15/6 – 8pm lesson ( cancelled same day – no reason)

If I go further back there are more cancellations. There was at least one other strop in there somewhere, too, where she got in the car already upset. There were a couple where she could hardly keep her eyes open (on one, she had the remnants of a hangover at 8pm). I asked her repeatedly to give me more notice, and I warned her several times about the dangers of being tired or drinking before driving.

I’ve been tolerant because her late lesson isn’t usually required by anyone else, although it has lost me work a couple of times. But in all, her behaviour has cost me a total of more than £160 in income alone, plus the lost work and fuel – not to mention the inconvenience.

She has nothing pre-booked in my diary now, and if she calls next week to ask where I am I’m afraid I’m going to politely tell her to find another instructor. Enough is enough.


I’m messing with the templates again, trying to find one I really like. Nothing too gaudy, but that last one was just too minimal for what I really want (after a while, anyway).

I still like ‘minimal’, so I’m going with this one for a while to see how it goes.

I noticed when I was searching through the available WordPress templates that they are rated with up to 5 stars. ‘Ah. This should help find a good one’, I thought. No such luck!

You can see what kind of person rates these things. Templates like this one, or any professional-looking ones with no pretty pictures or gaudy colours? Three stars tops. Any template mentioning Hallowe’en, Christmas, puppies and kittens, or which has ugly, distracting pictures – pumpkins, Santa, etc. – in the background (and which obscure the text in many cases)? Five stars. I can feel my screen almost exploding as thousands of sad people are hammering away on the ‘rate it’ button!


Well, I’m back into football again after our excellent win over Manchester Utd yesterday.

I can’t believe some of the rubbish being printed about Arsene Wenger. It isn’t his fault the team sometimes plays like a bunch of morons. We know what they’re capable of, so when they don’t match up to that it is their fault – not Wenger’s.

If only they can now stop boasting about how they’re going to tear a new orifice for teams they’re going to play, only to get humiliated. Far better to let the football do the talking: it’s a lot more eloquent than the players.


I wonder if it is too much to hope for, that tonight is the last night of bonfires and fireworks?

Every night since November 1st (that was last Saturday) there have been fireworks going off in large numbers. On November 5th itself, they were still going off at 3am in sufficient numbers to suggest it was organised. I mean, what kind of person is still letting fireworks off at that time in the morning? Other than hoodies, of course.

EDIT: I guess not. Even in Sunday’s torrential rain there were some idiots having bonfire shows.


Well, I went to see MGMT last night. Musically, very good, but couldn’t hear a damned word he was singing. Couldn’t even hear a word he was saying on the (very) rare occasions he spoke to the audience. The sound was a bit muddy and the vocals had way too much echo on them.

I was surprised by the performance. The band has almost no stage presence at all. It’s just five people, each doing their own thing in their own little space. The singer looks like a sulky teenager and behaves like that all the way through. The keyboards player at least made an effort: he was wearing large and ridiculously dark sunglasses. The lead guitar looks the part and is quite accomplished, and since much of MGMT’s repertoire involves fairly long guitar riffs this was welcome. I don’t think the bass player looked at the audience all night. You definitely got the impression that they didn’t really want to be there.

The thing we noticed on the way in was the age of the crowd. It was full of students doing what students do best: being annoying. I’ve never seen so many people in one place all trying to take their own photographs.

In the venue there is a flight of stairs which leads up to a first floor. I’m pretty sure there is a bar up there, and I’d be surprised if there are no toilets (but there might not be). Well, we stood quite near these stairs, and also near the two or three steps which lead down to the floor in front of the stage. As the time neared for the main band to appear there was a constant two-way flow of people up and down the stairs and up and down from the main floor. I have never seen it that way before. Even when the band came on, it triggered a further flow of people – away from the stage, it seems.

I suppose that since students are only technically not children, and certainly at this precise moment they were children up until about a month ago, the presence of a flight of stairs to keep walking up an down simply because it is there has to be accepted by those who were genuinely there as adults. (Incidentally, at a Rush gig last year someone had brought their son – he only looked about 9 or 10. He must have walked from his seat at one end of the row, past me to go somewhere, then come back 5 minutes later at least a dozen times. It’s just what kids do, even if it IS extremely irritating.)

Oh, and the other people-watching thing involved the two girls in front of me. After they’d taken a few pictures of themselves on the camera phone, heads together, laughing hysterically, arm outstretched, they then spent the whole gig yak-yak-yakking to each other. I don’t think they looked towards the stage once.

Finally, we went for a curry in a local restaurant which has featured on Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares. It was absolutely crap – like the chef had forgotten to put any curry powder at all in the dishes when he was making them. There was literally no curry taste of any kind.


Monday this week, another test. The pupil is dyslexic and has been unsuccessful with her driving previously – people just didn’t understand that she learns differently as a result of her dyslexia (as an aside, all dyslexics are different and you have to find the right buttons to press).

She passed with 9 driver faults (that’s seven in a row now) and was over the moon. She never thought she’d pass her test. So well done PL, and enjoy your driving (I got a text from her today warning me she was going to be out and about!)