Despatch: January 2012

This is an OLD, OLD article. All external links are dead.

The latest edition of Despatch is now available – you can view it as a PDF file here.

You have to work over half way through it this month to find anything of any real interest (unless you’re so out of touch that the first half is news to you).

The first article is another repeat of the bloody theory test questions story. Yet again, we get to hear about Mike Penning’s idiotic belief that rewording the actual test so it isn’t available verbatim in published form is going to bestow immortality and a cure for scrofula on the human race.

The second article is about motorbikes, and how the EU is going to limit access to more powerful ones by age and length of holding a licence (why don’t they bloody do the same with cars – then we really would have a story).

Then there is some total nonsense about the government cutting red tape. Never, in the field of human procrastination, has so much been written about so little. The changes are insignificant, at best.

There’s some useful advice about buying secondhand vehicles, and what to look out for to avoid being scammed.

Some bureaucracy – to replace that being lost by cutting red tape, no doubt – involving an “expert panel” on “drug driving” is to be established. Apparently these “experts” are needed to tell us whether driving under the influence of drugs is dangerous or not. They are also needed to advise on whether certain prescribed medicines or drug combinations are dangerous, particularly when mixed with alcohol.

As an encore, they are expected to tell us why putting your hand in a running Flymo is dangerous. Of course, Mike Penning is involved – see if you can see which of these he said, and which one I just made up:

Britain has some of the safest roads in the country, but we know how important it is to tackle the menace of drug driving.

Fire is hot, but we know how important it to tackle the menace of arson.

Tricky, eh?

And right at the end, two snippets I found quite interesting. Apparently, from February 1st, a new contractor – TMG CRB – will be handling criminal record checks. I found this interesting – and confusing – because nearly TWO YEARS ago I updated my CRB through this same contractor when my badge was up for renewal. I can’t see what’s changed.

The other one is about councils being allowed to charge utilities companies by the day for digging up main roads. This warrants a separate post.

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