Tattoo Me

You have to laugh! Heard this story on the radio on my way to my first lesson today.

Let’s just do a quick reality check:

  • getting a tattoo is stupid
  • getting a face tattoo is stupider

OK, the first one is just my personal opinion, but Kimberley Vlaminck from Belgium ignored these two simple rules and went to get some stars tattooed on her face. She reckons she only wanted three stars, but fell asleep during the procedure and ended up with 56 of them!

If you look at the picture, does the phrase “saw the result and had second thoughts” spring to mind, or what?

I think this part really gives an insight into what happened:

The trouble all started when she went home and her father and boyfriend threw a fit. They are saying things now like I doped her or hypnotised her. What rubbish. She asked for 56 stars and that’s what she got.

Kimberley Vlaminck - Face TattoosYes, I think “second thoughts” was definitely involved here.

When I was at Uni, there was this bloke – an early Goth-type rocker. He had long black hair, and right in the middle of his forehead – just above his hairline – he’d had a patch about the size of an egg shaved, and in it was a tattoo of a pentagram or something similar.

I mean, can you imagine what he must look like now. His hair will recede above the previous position and he’ll become an old guy with an ugly, stupid faded blue smudge on his head. I doubt he’ll be doing much more than hanging around outside the door of the pub with a pint in his hand at 11.30 in the morning – after all, he’s hardly likely to be a City high-flyer, is he?

Tattoos make a statement: specifically, they state “look at me – I’m a prat.”

It’s not as if they stay clear for very long. I lose count of the number of women I see with tattoos on shoulders, around their upper arms, on their legs which – as the women expand with age – go misshapen and start to fade. With blokes, you just expect this stupidity from some of them… but you’d think women would have more sense.

Oh, and back to Ms Vlaminck. My understanding is that tattoos are painful to get done. They are also drawn carefully by artists, so they take a long time to do. And Ms Vlaminck says she slept through it all? Of course she did…

EDIT 26/3/2012: I get regular hits on this story – more recently, asking what became of Kimberley Vlaminck. According to this story [link no longer correct] she was to have laser surgery – paid for by herself, not someone she’d accused – to remove them last year.

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