A Driving Instructor's Blog

Assholes

Black Toyota Corolla - KM05 PWXI did my first motorway lesson this morning and everything went completely according to plan. The pupil said it was the best lesson he’d ever had.

Ironically, the only thing that I’ve had any negative thoughts about concerning lessons on motorways is if any pupil should panic and slam the brakes on. So as we left the M1 at Junction 23 to go through Loughborough, we were turning right at the roundabout, and who should try to overtake dangerously on the merge on to the A512?

Yes,a black Toyota Corolla, registration number KM05 PWX – driven by some stupid bitch who shouldn’t be on the road. It wouldn’t have surprised me if she had her kids in the car, either (all five of them, no doubt). You can see how far over she is in the photo – it was a single lane at this point. And she was speeding, too, once she got past us.

Of course, my pupil duly obliged by braking, but fortunately not too hard, since there were cars behind us.

Nothing directly to do with doing lessons on motorways, but just typical of the twats who infest the roads these days.

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I wrote a few days ago about the Alford Road car park in West Bridgford, and kids climbing on the roof of the sports building. Well, take a look at these two mugshots. Retards in West Bridgford

I went in there again yesterday afternoon with a pupil. Just as we entered, the smug-looking retard on the left (who looks like Damien in the first two Omen films) deliberately rode his bike into our path and started trying to block us. That image is as he turned around to look at us. The one on the right was clearly aware of what he was up to judging from the sickly gawp on his face as we drove by.

I don’t think they realised how close they came to losing their teeth considering the pupil I was teaching. Before I could stop her, she’d started pumping the horn, and she was furious.

Still, I hope mummy and daddy are aware of what vicious little prats they have brought up. After all, it’s mummy and daddy who are to blame.

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The Lake District - How it Should LookOr, how to destroy the environment and get paid loads of money for doing it.

This BBC news article reports on campaigners’ claims that the Lake District National Park Authority (LDNPA) has “violated [the park’s] World Heritage status”.

They cite the dramatic increase in “off-roaders” on motorbikes and 4x4s, who have damaged the landscape. The LDNPA actually encourages morons to come and tear up the countryside.

Let’s not play games here. Absolutely no 4×4 or quadbike/motorbike rider who goes to the Lake District to ride “off-road” – not a single one of them –  gives a flying f*ck about the environment other than how they can turn it into mud every weekend. If they did, they wouldn’t have a 4×4 in the first place, and as for motorbike/quadbike riders… well, there’s more processing power in a mosquito’s genitalia than there is in the typical biker’s head area, and all they want to do is make a noise and send mud flying in the air.

That’s why the comments of Mark Eccles, the alleged leader of LDNPA, are laughable:

We encourage users to behave responsibly on what can be vulnerable tracks to minimise environmental impact and respect other users.

This idiot WANTS off-roaders to come to the Lake District and to “behave responsibly. There’s more chance of a squirrel becoming Pope.

He then says something which is almost the exact opposite:

[It would be] preferable if people did not take vehicles on these routes” [but it is legal].

If he had any balls, he’d stop them or deter them. It would be easy to justify simply on the basis of how much damage they cause. But he is no doubt one of that modern breed of men who have artificially balanced hormones, and for whom “equal opportunities” is the mantra that governs every decision they make. He’s no doubt of a mind that trees have to be cut down to make every corner of the Lake District accessible by wheelchair, and is probably considering painting it pink to try to attract more female visitors. So, in this case, he mustn’t discriminate against monkeys who like things that make a noise and go fast.

For anyone who doesn’t know, The Lake District National Park covers almost 1,000 square miles. And it looks like the photo above when there are no off-roaders around. Once they’ve been and gone, though, it looks like this.

The Lake District - How Off-roaders leave it

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An ape on the roofI was in the Alford Road Park car park in West Bridgford last night doing a bay park with a pupil. It was empty when we arrived, but after about ten minutes some kids arrived with a football. I won’t dwell on the fact that there are signs posted on the wall of the changing rooms building which clearly say “No ball games in the car park”. Inevitably, the ball ended up being kicked on to the roof so it rolled back down a few times.

After a few more minutes, someone appeared on the roof of the building. He was wearing a black jacket but with a grey hoodie underneath.

He jumped up and down a few times, moved up and down, threw a small branch he found on the roof into the car park, then disappeared back over the other side. A few minutes later he ran back up, jumped around some more, flailing his arms, then disappeared again. He was obviously showing off to someone on the other side.

After some more minutes, during which time I had called 199 to report the incident, a group of kids came from behind the building – two females, and two males, one of the males wearing a black jacket and grey hoodie. They obviously knew the two with the ball, and the kid with the hoodie seemed to be on something (or suffering from something), since he couldn’t stand still and quickly got into a rough-and-tumble with one of the others the group joined.

Just as we left, the police turned up. Ten minutes later, they gave me a courtesy call to tell me what had happened.

Summary: “No, Mr Policeman, WE haven’t been climbing on the roof.”

Yes you were, you lying little pricks. The dashcam never lies.

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Nissan Micra - NU53 SZZOn the Chilwell Test Centre routes, there is one particular road which causes problems for pupils.

It’s a very narrow road called Baskin Lane, and is only a couple of minutes away from the test centre. What makes it tricky for pupils is that to negotiate it you have to do a right turn on to Chetwynd Road from High Road/Attenborough Lane (a blind bend), then Baskin Lane is an immediate right turn after that. There is usually at least one parked car on Chetwynd Road, parked directly opposite Baskin, and several parked on the right as you enter Baskin itself. There’s a 50:50 chance that someone will be coming out of Baskin past these parked cars. At the top of Baskin, pupils turn right or left on to Redland Drive, and this is on a moderately steep slope where rollback can occur if they get it wrong.

It’s important that pupils are familiar with this road, and to that end I took one down there for the first time this afternoon. I talked her through the initial right turn, then got her to slow right down to look into Baskin Lane to see if anyone was coming down it towards us. They were, so we stopped. However, as we waited, a twat in a blue Nissan Micra (reg. no. NU53 SZZ) decided to try and overtake us. As a result, he nearly collided head on with the car that we were waiting for, had to reverse back out to make way for it, then overtook us again before we could move.

What he did was stupid, dangerous, and illegal. And if the Police are interested – which they really ought to be – he apparently lives on Forester Close, part-way up Baskin Lane, since that’s where he turned into. The image above is frame from my dashcam footage, so his idiotic actions are preserved for posterity, and mean that the twat has no argument if he should take exception to me reporting it.

Remember: Blue Nissan Micra, registration number NU53 SZZ, driven by a halfwit who appears to live on Forester Close, just off Baskin Lane.

I’ve mentioned before that the blog is an outlet for my frustrations as a result of this job. This is a perfect example! I feel much better now.

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Lewis HamiltonOr, he will have if some people get their way.

He told his (young) nephew, who was wearing a pink princess dress and holding a magic wand on an Instagram post, that “boys don’t wear dresses”. He’s since apologised, etc., etc., etc. But as you can imagine, that’s not enough, and more blood needs to be extracted before he can still not be forgiven.

The world gets madder by the day, and there are calls for Hamilton to be stripped of his MBE.

What’s funny is that if he’d have said boys must wear dresses, no one would have batted an eyelid. Or, if they had dared, they’d have quickly been slapped down.

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No Polish Fishermen signIt’s funny when you look around various discussion forums, and see how the attitudes of Brexiters have developed since June 2016.

Brexit, of course, was the stupidest decision this country has ever made – marginally ahead of the decision to hold a referendum in the first place, and so allow morons with serious problems in their heads to decide on something that is so far above their understanding, it’d be more likely that someone could throw a stone into the sun than these people make a rational choice.

As any objective person will already know, the voting demographics show clearly that (and these are general conclusions):

  • older voters voted to leave
  • younger voters voted to remain
  • people from deprived area voted to leave
  • people with no qualifications voted to leave
  • people with higher education voted to remain
  • at least twice as many older voters voted than did younger ones

I know this will upset Brexiters, but no matter where you look the demographics throw up the same general conclusions. Like it or not, the result was, overall, strongly associated with educational achievement, age, ethnicity, and position on the social ladder.

The narrow victory by “leave” emboldened people overnight, and the underlying reasons why many voted as they did became clear. A primary reason was effectively racism, and Brexit Neanderthals became active immediately. Although the media may have played things down since then – and they have – it hasn’t gone away, and this latest story just shows what bigots we have in this country, and how Brexit has made them all big and brave.

A sign was put up at a fishery in Oxfordshire by the owner, Billy Evans. It said:

NO VEHICLE ACCESS


NO POLISH OR EASTERN BLOC

FISHERMEN ALLOWED


NO CHILDREN OR DOGS

I’d bet any money that Evans wouldn’t have dared put that up prior to June 2016, and that the Brexit result gave him the wings to do it now. However, his use of the term “Eastern Bloc” – which ceased to have anything much other than offensive overtones in the early 90s – belies his age and educational background.

Evans appears to have put the sign up based on second-hand information from like-minded people, and has been forced to take it down. He could still face legal action, since the Equality and Human Rights Commission has said it was “unlawful”. What’s really frightening is that there are actually people in this country allowed to go about unsupervised who couldn’t see that right from the start.

Evans is quoted:

I do not tolerate thieves, wherever they come from.

I will stand up for what I believe in. If they want to call me a racist for stopping thieves coming on to my property then that’s what they’ll do.

He is obviously too stupid to realise that he has declared ALL Polish and “Eastern Bloc” people to be thieves with his sign.

His solution now appears to be to threaten to close down the fishery completely so that no one can use it.

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Last month, I mentioned an email I’d received which informed me that I’d got $950,000 waiting in a Zimbabwean bank. All I had to do was send $95 for delivery of the ATM card which would unlock these untold riches.

I just received another one. Apparently, I have $12,000,000 now – $24,000,000 if you allow for the fact I got two copies, one to each of two of the various email addresses I use:

Dear Sir/Ma,

This is to inform all contractors and business owners whom have done any business in Africa without been paid that, they are free to contact the office of the WORLD BANK COMPENSATION COMMISSION for immediate payment considerations.
 
The function of the Commission, is to verify and evaluate claims, and in so  doing, to determine whether the applicant is entitle to any compensation in the amount not less that $12,000,000:00 (Twelve Million Dollars).

The Commissioners assess the type of compensation due to the claimants and  recommended compensation to the Governing Council and intelligible claimant/s is paid within four (4) working days.

This Compensation Commission is headed by the Executive Secretary who is appointed by the board of the World Bank after consultation with the Governing Council. Since the establishment of the Commission in 2014, the staff of the Secretariat comes from approximately 32 different countries and at the height of claims processing, the Secretariat is made up of approximately 30 lawyers, accountants, loss adjusters and information technology specialists.

To begin with the process of this compensation, all eligible persons or come any is require to to send the following to the office of the Commission

A. FULL NAME/ COMPANY NAME
B. CONTACT ADDRESS
C. TELEPHONE/ FAX NUMBER

All information should be sent to:-
  
Olivia Porter
[removed]@gmail.com

Yours Faithfully,
Sarah Grant.

Not very bright, are they? Mind you, some of the people they send these to aren’t, either.

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White Qashqai WN15 UXVI’m starting to get seriously pissed off with some of the prats on the roads these days. As if it wasn’t bad enough that Nottingham City and Country Councils have got road works on virtually every route into and out of the city, you have people like the driver of this white Nissan Qashqai, registration WN15 UXV on Tuesday, 8 August 2017.

I was on a lesson with an already nervous pupil when we hit unexpected traffic. It turned out the imbeciles in charge of the area around the Wheatcroft roundabout (Rushcliffe Borough) had cut it from four lanes to just one sometime before 6pm – so during rush hour. The reasons for the road works are not immediately clear, though it is likely they are to do with the ongoing destruction of greenbelt for the new housing development just there.

ck03aylWe’d been sitting in the queue for around 10 minutes. When we saw that lanes were closed and were merging, we signalled and someone allowed us to move out. Several minutes later, as is usually the case, someone really clever decided to drive further down and jump part of the queue (Silver VW Polo, registration OY57 KHD). We let him in. Then, after several more minutes, when we had reached the actual merge, there was a surge of traffic trying it. The first was a white van/minibus, registration CK03 AYL. He forced his way in right at the level of the cones. He was being tailgated by the Qashqai.

The Qashqai literally barged us out of the way, forcing me to take the controls. To make matters worse, the cross between Jimmy Krankie and the Michelin Man driving it, and Bubbles the Chimp in the passenger seat thought it was funny.

The reason it took so long to get through in the first place was because of openly arrogant and ignorant twats like this. But THEY don’t care as long as THEY get what THEY want.

Just a reminder that all three of those cars mentioned here were breaking the Law. They were overtaking – on the inside – and forcing their way into queues of traffic. The stupid cow in the Qashqai was the worst of the the three (and the monkey she had in the passenger seat was aiding and abetting).

Dashcams are great, by the way, just in case anyone’s recollection of the events are unclear.

White lorry - LT62 CDO or CT62 CDO (TTR117)And while I’m on this subject, a similar thing happened this afternoon on the A60 heading towards Mansfield. I was on another lesson, and we’d stopped at lights in Daybrook. A white lorry, registration LT62 CDO or CT62 CDO – unmarked, but identified with the container code TTR117 – deliberately tried to run us into oncoming traffic.

Again, dashcams are great.

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You have to smile sometimes. I just received this email. It’s just a hunch, but it might be a scam.

From: Charles Koch <email address removed>

Subject: CONTACT ME URGENT

Dear Beneficiary,

How are you today, I hope all is well .Be informed that due to your delay ,YOUR FUND worth of (USD$950,000.00) was converted into ATM-Card which you can use to withdraw in any ATM Cash Point Machine Worldwide and have been programmed by the issuing bank .Note that the issuing bank has packaged the ATM CARD with the secret code and registered it with DHL courier service. Also you can withdraw the sum of US$5,000.00 per day.Therefore, quickly contact DHL COMPANY with below

information:

Your full name……..

Your address……….

Your country……….

Your age …………

Your occupation……..

Your Phone number……

Director :Mr Charles Koch

Email address: (Zimbabwe email address removed)

The only money you have to send to DHL COMPANY is only US$95 only,according to the director of the issuing bank for the smooth delivery of your package to your door step. Also you should reaffirm your full NAME, ADDRESS,TELEPHONE NUMBER AND DRIVER’S LICENSE OR PASSPORT to them to avoid wrong delivery.

Congratulations!

Yours faithfully,

Funds Remittance Department

The really frightening thing is that there will be some prat who responds to him.

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