A Driving Instructor's Blog

Assholes

Two lanes - merging into one up aheadI was on a lesson with a pupil recently, and we were driving from Chilwell through Long Eaton. It was busy, and traffic was queuing in both lanes for both of the roundabouts in the town centre.

My usual mantra to pupils is “stay in the left hand lane unless you know what you are doing”, and you’ll see why when you read on. In this case, just before the first roundabout in Long Eaton, there was an HGV waiting to turn left towards the Tesco store at the 1st exit. The exit was backed up with cars – presumably heading for Tesco – and on the 2nd exit (our destination) I could see there were two stopped buses, one of which was blocking the entire left lane. Beyond the second roundabout at its 2nd exit there were two lanes of queuing traffic merging into a single lane.

I saw all this in advance, mentioned it to my pupil, and instructed her to negotiate both roundabouts in the right-hand lane.

We're now beyond the merge pointOnce we had got through the roundabouts (see top picture), we approached the merge into single lane. We were alternately stopping and moving, and kept pulling alongside another car (the yellow one in the picture, above). As we came to the merge, I instructed my pupil to keep up with that car, but to let it go ahead of us, and we would merge behind it. I explained about merging in turn and not trying to cut other people up by being greedy.

Now, you’d think everything would have been all right. I mean, traffic going nowhere in a hurry, we were actually in the process of merging, with no intention of trying to cut anyone up, just dealing with the road conditions in the safest and most sensible way possible…

Chav in the act of cutting us upExcept as we started to merge, a prat in a silver Corsa (what else?) came up alongside us – eyes staring straight forward, because that makes everything all right, of course – and forced her way in. You can see from the third picture what she did.

Vauxhall Corsa, reg. no. S900 CJAShe had come around the roundabout some considerable time after us, and judging by her apparent age, the ink was probably still damp on her licence. It was absolutely clear what she was thinking and intending to do – and it wasn’t to allow us to complete the merge.

She had all the finger actions down to a ‘T’ when I turned to look at her. I rolled down my window and asked if she’d ever heard of “merge in turn”, and elicited some more finger gestures. She then accelerated forwards and tailgated the yellow car just to be doubly sure that she “won”. A typical chav.

She knew exactly what she was doing right from the start.

To make matters worse, an arsehole of a cyclist who was alongside commented “she had the right of way, mate” as he passed (I don’t think I really need to say much about cyclists and their understanding of the Highway Code). No. She. Didn’t. Not at that point, and under those circumstances. She was forcing her way in in a situation where she shouldn’t have. There was only one lane at that point, and my pupil was at least six car lengths past the end of the two-lane section.

The Highway Code recommends merging in turn in precisely these situations. It’s in Rule 134 if the chav or that smart-ass cyclist is reading this. It only advises against merging in turn at high speeds, because it would be dangerous.

Of course, my pupil was not in the wrong because she didn’t force her way in and wasn’t trying to do so. We were already in the only lane available at that point, and were moving in slow traffic. Right of way didn’t enter into it – other than that we already had it.

Rule 144 of the Highway Code refers to driving without due care and attention. This rule was rewritten not long ago to include more detail about what is acceptable and what isn’t, and I doubt that most road users (and especially chavs) can even remember what was in the older version, let alone this one (most cyclists are probably unaware that there’s even a Highway Code). And earlier this year, the RAC wrote an article, titled Driving without due care and attention – are you an offender? In it, they say:

The offence of driving without due care and attention – also referred to as careless driving – covers a multitude of motoring sins, from tailgating to tuning the radio…

Driving without due care and attention is not necessarily a ‘clear cut’ offence…

What comes under this offence..?

Examples of disregard for other road users may include [list shortened]:

  • Driving aggressively
  • Overtaking on the left-hand side
  • Not giving way where appropriate

Rule 217 also has something interesting to say about behaving like a prat around other road users:

Rule 217

Learners and inexperienced drivers. They may not be so skilful at anticipating and responding to events. Be particularly patient with learner drivers and young drivers. Drivers who have recently passed their test may display a ‘new driver’ plate or sticker (see ‘Safety code for new drivers’).

Some people manage to tick all the boxes in one go, and those who are really into ‘P’ plate territory themselves are often the worst. I feel a proper article on merging coming on.

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vw_touran_fd17vweI was teaching a pupil how to handle the Nottingham Knight roundabout today.

Oh, if only the f—ing halfwits who have licences had even a grain of a clue, how much easier my job would be.

Here, you can see a black VW Touran, registration number FD17 VWE, decide that lane markings didn’t apply to her as she cut dangerously across the lanes. She was also speeding, and it wouldn’t have surprised me if she had her brats in the back if Social Services are interested in picking up any unfit parents right now.

This is a still from the full video which shows what she did. Stupid cow.

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honda_civic_bn05olhAnother lesson, this time in Wollaton. School run time.

My pupil was following the sat nav, and we were turning right. We’d just passed a light-controlled junction with all the mummies backed up and I’d told the pupil to carry on to next junction away from the road the school is on. As we approached it, this stupid bitch in a silver Honda Civic (old style), registration number BN05 OLH, cut us up dangerously.

This is a still from the full video showing what she did.

We followed her for about a mile, and she went into the Hemlock Stone pub – most likely either to pick up her brats from an agreed meeting place, or to get pissed on Prosecco as part of her anger management programme. Either way, she was a crap driver who shouldn’t be on the roads.

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Toyota Avensis - MM05 CLYOn a lesson with a pupil tonight, we we’d just driven on to Pennyfoot Street and I noticed in my mirror that there was a prat trying to overtake us actually on the junction before we’d even passed the pedestrian island.

I turned round to look at him and he waved his arms around as if we were doing something wrong. My pupil wasn’t driving slowly – just too slowly for this moron. As we approached the junction with Lower Parliament Street, I wanted her to be in the right-hand lane because we were going to drive through Hockley. Of course, Mr Brainless behind inevitably also wanted that lane – being, in his tiny pea brain, the “fast” lane for people of his ilk. Staying behind was obviously not an option, so he overtook at speed on the wrong side of the road.

In case the police want to look into it, since I’m certain that being the dickhead that he was he possibly has a few other things he would like to keep hidden in his closet, he was driving a silver Toyota Avensis T3-X D-4D with the registration number MM05 CLY.

To be honest, I’m getting sick and tired of this sort of behaviour, and it’s sometimes takes a lot of self-control not to get out and smack somebody in the mouth. Oh, if only that were legal!

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Trump's Space CorpsLike Brexit, Donald Trump is another anomaly from 2016 that just keeps on giving.

His latest stunt appears to involve restarting the Strategic Defense Initiative – aka “Star Wars” – which was first started by Ronald Reagan in 1983 at the height of The Cold War.

The big differences this time around are that:

  • Ronald Reagan wasn’t a certified nutcase
  • technology wasn’t up to it the first time
  • the key world leaders involved now are bordering on insanity

I think the picture above gives a good representation of what is involved – at least in theory.

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DK07 ZRG - Stupid, arrogant cow with kids in the carI went into McDonalds in Basford this afternoon to use the loo and get a coffee. It was about 2.30pm, and since it was a Friday, the traffic was building.

I got in my car to leave, and I must confess that the thought crossed my mind that some twat would be trying to turn right at the exit (as they usually are, in spite of the NO RIGHT TURN signs). As I reversed out and aimed at the exit, I was confronted with this – a stupid cow, with her brats in the car – trying to turn right. You can see how busy it is.

The traffic lights at the junction just to the right of the exit allow a handful of cars through at a time even if you’re going straight ahead.  If more than one person is turning right at the junction, only 2 or 3 cars get through, which is why people in the right-hand lane approaching the junction won’t let people leaving McDonalds out – especially during peak periods.

She was there for ages – there was no way traffic was going to let her out, but she was simply too f–king thick to work that out. The irony is that if you turn left, you can do a u-turn further down and handle the junction legally.

Note the "no right turn" signs and heavy traffic - DK07 ZRG didn'tEventually, I managed to bump the edge of the pavement and get out while she was still sitting there with her head spinning round looking left and right. This is what she was looking at, and it shows precisely why there are those crystal-clear NO RIGHT TURN signs at the exit. A queue several hundred metres long.

Traffic stretching off into the distance, and DK07 ZRG still expected to manage her illegal right turnThe stupid and arrogant cow in question was driving a blue Ford Focus, registration number DK07 ZRG. She ignored my toot and gesticulations, because SHE wanted to turn right, and f–k everyone else.

Still, at least it has reminded me why I avoid this McDonalds branch for large parts of the day.

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Black Toyota Corolla - KM05 PWXI did my first motorway lesson this morning and everything went completely according to plan. The pupil said it was the best lesson he’d ever had.

Ironically, the only thing that I’ve had any negative thoughts about concerning lessons on motorways is if any pupil should panic and slam the brakes on. So as we left the M1 at Junction 23 to go through Loughborough, we were turning right at the roundabout, and who should try to overtake dangerously on the merge on to the A512?

Yes,a black Toyota Corolla, registration number KM05 PWX – driven by some stupid bitch who shouldn’t be on the road. It wouldn’t have surprised me if she had her kids in the car, either (all five of them, no doubt). You can see how far over she is in the photo – it was a single lane at this point. And she was speeding, too, once she got past us.

Of course, my pupil duly obliged by braking, but fortunately not too hard, since there were cars behind us.

Nothing directly to do with doing lessons on motorways, but just typical of the twats who infest the roads these days.

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I wrote a few days ago about the Alford Road car park in West Bridgford, and kids climbing on the roof of the sports building. Well, take a look at these two mugshots. Retards in West Bridgford

I went in there again yesterday afternoon with a pupil. Just as we entered, the smug-looking retard on the left (who looks like Damien in the first two Omen films) deliberately rode his bike into our path and started trying to block us. That image is as he turned around to look at us. The one on the right was clearly aware of what he was up to judging from the sickly gawp on his face as we drove by.

I don’t think they realised how close they came to losing their teeth considering the pupil I was teaching. Before I could stop her, she’d started pumping the horn, and she was furious.

Still, I hope mummy and daddy are aware of what vicious little prats they have brought up. After all, it’s mummy and daddy who are to blame.

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The Lake District - How it Should LookOr, how to destroy the environment and get paid loads of money for doing it.

This BBC news article reports on campaigners’ claims that the Lake District National Park Authority (LDNPA) has “violated [the park’s] World Heritage status”.

They cite the dramatic increase in “off-roaders” on motorbikes and 4x4s, who have damaged the landscape. The LDNPA actually encourages morons to come and tear up the countryside.

Let’s not play games here. Absolutely no 4×4 or quadbike/motorbike rider who goes to the Lake District to ride “off-road” – not a single one of them –  gives a flying f*ck about the environment other than how they can turn it into mud every weekend. If they did, they wouldn’t have a 4×4 in the first place, and as for motorbike/quadbike riders… well, there’s more processing power in a mosquito’s genitalia than there is in the typical biker’s head area, and all they want to do is make a noise and send mud flying in the air.

That’s why the comments of Mark Eccles, the alleged leader of LDNPA, are laughable:

We encourage users to behave responsibly on what can be vulnerable tracks to minimise environmental impact and respect other users.

This idiot WANTS off-roaders to come to the Lake District and to “behave responsibly. There’s more chance of a squirrel becoming Pope.

He then says something which is almost the exact opposite:

[It would be] preferable if people did not take vehicles on these routes” [but it is legal].

If he had any balls, he’d stop them or deter them. It would be easy to justify simply on the basis of how much damage they cause. But he is no doubt one of that modern breed of men who have artificially balanced hormones, and for whom “equal opportunities” is the mantra that governs every decision they make. He’s no doubt of a mind that trees have to be cut down to make every corner of the Lake District accessible by wheelchair, and is probably considering painting it pink to try to attract more female visitors. So, in this case, he mustn’t discriminate against monkeys who like things that make a noise and go fast.

For anyone who doesn’t know, The Lake District National Park covers almost 1,000 square miles. And it looks like the photo above when there are no off-roaders around. Once they’ve been and gone, though, it looks like this.

The Lake District - How Off-roaders leave it

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An ape on the roofI was in the Alford Road Park car park in West Bridgford last night doing a bay park with a pupil. It was empty when we arrived, but after about ten minutes some kids arrived with a football. I won’t dwell on the fact that there are signs posted on the wall of the changing rooms building which clearly say “No ball games in the car park”. Inevitably, the ball ended up being kicked on to the roof so it rolled back down a few times.

After a few more minutes, someone appeared on the roof of the building. He was wearing a black jacket but with a grey hoodie underneath.

He jumped up and down a few times, moved up and down, threw a small branch he found on the roof into the car park, then disappeared back over the other side. A few minutes later he ran back up, jumped around some more, flailing his arms, then disappeared again. He was obviously showing off to someone on the other side.

After some more minutes, during which time I had called 199 to report the incident, a group of kids came from behind the building – two females, and two males, one of the males wearing a black jacket and grey hoodie. They obviously knew the two with the ball, and the kid with the hoodie seemed to be on something (or suffering from something), since he couldn’t stand still and quickly got into a rough-and-tumble with one of the others the group joined.

Just as we left, the police turned up. Ten minutes later, they gave me a courtesy call to tell me what had happened.

Summary: “No, Mr Policeman, WE haven’t been climbing on the roof.”

Yes you were, you lying little pricks. The dashcam never lies.

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