Nottingham – City of Road Works

For some years now, driving in Nottingham has been a nightmare. Apart from the tram (three years and counting), we’ve had gas main replacements (still on-going), and electricity cable replacements – both running concurrently (and in the same places) as the tram works).Nottingham - City of Road Works

We’ve also had sundry extended closures and diversions for Severn Trent to play The Little Dutch Boy as it tries to stem the myriad leaks in its pipework, and for builders to install service pipes and cabling to the numerous areas of greenbelt the Council has granted planning permission to build on.

On top of all this, the Council was recently awarded a grant from the EU for supposed “improvements” to the ring road, and a further grant to do something similar in the so-called “cultural zone” around Sneinton and St Ann’s. There was a condition attached that the money had to be spent by a certain time, so the Council commenced everything almost immediately. One area currently acting as a major bottleneck is the Crown Island.

Let me stress that the work on Crown Island is absolutely and completely a part of the Council’s “ring road improvements” scheme. The roundabout is currently cut from four lanes to two, so you can imagine the queues that form even when it is relatively quiet.

So it comes as a surprise to learn today that an event at Wollaton Park – some half-assed attempt to break the world record for the number of people dressed as “superheroes” all in one place – led to traffic jams. The Council’s official response (5.20pm) via the BBC was:

Nottingham City Council has apologised to people caught up in traffic around Wollaton Park earlier as thousands descended on its Superhero Picnic.

Councillor Dave Trimble said the support “far exceeded our expectations”.

“Given the high numbers of people who have attended this free event today, we have offered advice about possible alternative routes home. We are aware that motorists were caught up earlier in queues and we’re sorry if their journeys were affected,” he said.

I’m sorry to use this sort of language, but there is only one word that comes to mind here: wanker. He and the other halfwits at the City Council have created a major, long-term traffic bottleneck at the Crown Island to add to all the other bottlenecks they have on the go at the moment. What  they then did was to arrange a pathetic, childish event at Wollaton Park – less than a mile away from the roundabout in question – which they failed to organise or police properly. As a result, it was chaos. An earlier BBC report (around 4.40pm) says:

Congestion is building around Wollaton Park again, with slow traffic on A6514 Middleton Boulevard at the Crown Island and on the A52 in both directions between the QMC and Priory Islands.

Earlier there was a Superhero Picnic event at the park which caused traffic to come to a standstill nearby.

They should not be arranging such events while such major road works are in place. Even worse, this one was the equivalent of one of those house parties you hear about where some prat announces it on Facebook, and a load of gate crashers turn up. An even earlier BBC report (2pm) states:

Some families heading to Wollaton Park’s Superhero Picnic say they have been forced to turn back because of traffic chaos in the area…

[A woman attending said] “We set off from Arnold at about 10:30 and got to the Wollaton pub at 11:35, ten minutes later we turned around because the traffic wasn’t moving.

“Both children were crying because they were so fed up… we saw others walking away from the picnic too,” she said.

Motorists were going crazy (1pm):Tweets from motorists in the area

On top of that, buses were seriously delayed due to the gridlock. At 12.30pm congestion extended along the A52, A609, and Bramcote Lane.

But the beauty of all this is that – in the same news feed – the BBC reports that:

Managers and owners of businesses near Nottingham’s Crown Island say they’ve lost tens of thousands of pounds each because ongoing roadworks have caused access problems.

Landlord, Sarah Tutin from the Crown Hotel pub, said: “We’re a small business and we’re just being wiped out. We are at rock bottom now.”

So the Council incompetently decided to arrange an event involving 10,000 visitors to Wollaton Park, just off the island.

And here’s the punch line:

Nottingham City Council said the works are by the utility companies and their on-site engineers are in regular contact with the businesses to address any concerns.

Remember that word I used earlier? This just proves it. They are also liars – the Crown Island mess is THEIR mess, THEY created it. It is THEIR project. It is part of the ring road “improvements”. They’re also cowards – they can’t blame the utility companies, who would have to get permission from the Council anyway to carry out work of this magnitude.

For what it’s worth, I got stuck in it at Dunkirk at about 4.30pm as I was driving to a lesson.

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